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  • Joe D'Orsie

Healthy Masculinity

Updated: Jan 26, 2022

A few weeks ago on a Philadelphia-area SEPTA train a woman was assaulted and raped for more than eight minutes while spectators looked on. They didn’t intervene, they didn’t say anything, they didn’t even phone the authorities. They did nothing.


How has society changed so drastically in the last decade that not a single person, not a single man, had the courage to stand up and stop a despicable crime? What if men have been bludgeoned so badly by anti-male confusion that we actually bred this type of behavior as a society?


I’ve heard plenty over the course of the last ten years, mainly from the progressive left or the radical feminist camp, about so-called “toxic masculinity.” To be sure, as is the case with most good things, the extreme of anything can be unfavorable. There is a level of male machismo that we could all do without, a form of patronization that we should reject, and of course any true display of chauvinism we shouldn’t tolerate.


But, the assault on men and genuine and healthy male qualities has gone way overboard. You can easily see it in TV commercials, where the adult male is often portrayed as a bumbling fool dominated and mocked by his wife/girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, it’s OK to poke fun at goofy, often times male characteristics, like not being able to find the car keys when they’re right in front of your face, but the media has crossed the line of humor and is somewhere in the zone of the demoralization of men at this point. That isn’t funny, and, coincidentally, it’s toxic to our society.


Let me talk about me for a second. I don’t normally talk about myself but it may help me illustrate a point. I was making my own meals and doing my own laundry at eight years old. I learned how to respect authority and lead a life of discipline by a Marine Corps officer: my dad. The movies of my youth that made me dream were Rocky IV, Conan the Barbarian, and Saving Private Ryan. The books that enlivened me were Wild at Heart, Into the Wild, & A River Runs Through it. I filled wrestling mats with sweat and bled on football jerseys from the age of 10 all the way into my early twenties. I have deer meat in my fridge right now from a doe I shot a few weeks ago, with the muzzleloader that I know how to clean, load, and fire. I get up most days by 5 AM to pray. I can’t remember the last time that I slept past 7:30. I do the bills and handle the finances in my family. I take responsibility for things. I’m protective of my wife and daughter, and other women. If I saw someone abusing a woman I’d intervene, not make excuses for cowering in fear. I hold doors for women and help carry heavy items for them, unless they tell me they don’t want help, then I don’t. None of these things are toxic.


My point isn’t that I’m anything special. My point is that we’re entering a time of crisis - I’m pretty sure of that, and what we don’t need is a bunch of secular humanist, rebellious, anarchist, indifferent guys, we need men who fear nothing but God. Men who don’t scatter when circumstances are tough. Men who don’t care what people think of them. Men who are more concerned with pleasing God than pleasing their own flesh.


Would you rather have me in a crisis hour or a coddled, career video gamer?


Men: please wake up from your slumber, ignore the world’s disapproval of who you are, and do what you were called to do.

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